1) This post will have nothing to do with ice cream floats. I just liked the rhyme. Sorry. We’ll all survive. Probably.

2) I’m now in Puerto Natales, Chile, about to hike for a few days in Torres Del Paine national park. It’s supposed to be pretty fantastic. Mountains, rivers, insane wind. But no ice cream floats I don’t think. Really. I’m sorry.

3) In a city south of here called Punto Arenas I took a boat to an island inhabited by thousands of penguins and nothing else. Look. Look at these crazy little guys. I wanted to eat them all. How many did I actually digest? 400.

4) I have noticed the Chilean news media likes to refer to the U.S. as Gringolandía. I like to refer to the U.S. as Seacrab Henry. My reasons are unclear even to me.

5) In the past week, three people have told me my beard makes me look like a terrorist.

6) Ice cream foats for everyone.